Can You Get a Guy Interested Again After Being Needy

Information technology seems pretty uncomplicated doesn't it?

Since the beginning of time there has been one thing that almost all relationship experts concord on,

Existence clingy or needy is a complete turn off to men.

Before you entered into a human relationship with your ex fellow you knew that deep downwardly existence clingy and needy was probably going to be a turn off to him simply as you developed a deeper connection with him yous couldn't help yourself.

You just wanted to talk to him all solar day every day…

You wanted to hear his voice earlier you went to bed…

You wanted to know what he was up to throughout the solar day…

You lot didn't really desire him talking to any other girl that wasn't y'all…

Essentially you wanted his entire life to revolve around y'all…

They say that beloved makes people exercise crazy things. This fact was evidenced when I opened up my Facebook Folio 1 afternoon and saw this meme posted by one of my subscribers,

Now, I am not insinuating that you approached anything close to this when you broke up with your ex boyfriend I am just proverb that I know what it's like to exist in love and I know that sometimes it tin can brand you do some clingy or needy things.

In this guide I am going to be talking nigh how you can recover from these clingy or needy things that occurred in your human relationship with your ex. Substantially, what I am shooting for here is a style to wipe your slate clean with your ex so that you can give yourself the all-time shot of getting him back.

The Positives & Negatives Of Being Clingy

I bet yous weren't expecting me to say that being clingy can take a positive aspect to information technology, huh?

As it turns out there is a fashion in which being clingy and needy can be an attractive affair to men. In this section I am going to talk a little nigh that but I will likewise be giving y'all the low down on all the negatives that go forth with being clingy and needy.

Then, if you have ever wondered what kinds of things a stage 5 clinger does to turn off a homo so the section entitled, The Negatives Of Being Clingy, is going to exist especially interesting to you.

First though, lets talk about the rarely talked virtually positive aspects of being needy.

The Positives Of Being Clingy

Whenever you do research on women who are clingy or overly needy you often hear experts scolding them for that blazon of behavior. You actually never hear about the positives that go along with being clingy or needy. You meet, every bit a man I tin can tell you that, as weird as this is going to sound, I like a adult female to be a niggling clingy or needy.

Wait, WHAT????

The keyword in that location is "a little."

Hear me out for a second.

To me if a girl gets a little clingy it means she really has strong feelings for me and I like that. I want my woman to care about me on a level then deep that no one else tin compare. I want her to want me to be the last person she talks to earlier she goes to bed. I desire her to think virtually me constantly throughout the day.

Essentially, I want to be the most of import person in her life.

Is that selfish of me?

Probably…

Exercise I care?

Not actually…

Permit me put it to yous like this.

Whenever a girl exhibits clingy behavior similar jealousy, constantly wanting to be around me and texting me a lot I kind of like it. To me information technology is these things that tell me she really cares nearly me.

I merely gave y'all three little examples of clingy behavior that I said I liked, right?

What were they?

1. A little jealousy.
2. Wanting to exist around me all the time.
3. Texting me a lot.

Ok, now I want to make a picayune tweak regarding these iii examples.

What is the tweak?

I want to tell you about what a daughter can do to of a sudden make those cute trivial clingy behaviors into overly clingy to the point where it becomes a turn off.

One thing we have already established about me and most other men is that we like needy behavior merely only to a certain extent.

Lets pretend that you and I are dating and at the beginning of the relationship you would exhibit the three clingy behaviors I mentioned above. Well, at the commencement I found it kind of cute. I liked the fact that you got a fiddling jealous because it meant you lot cared. I liked that you wanted to be around me all the fourth dimension and I too liked that you texted me a lot.

Of course, equally time went on I began to notice a gradual change in the intensity of these behaviors.

For example, any time you lot would go jealous you would become jealous to the bespeak where you would start a huge argument and you wouldn't trust me well-nigh annihilation. In fact, your jealousy got so bad that at one point you literally forbade me to talk to anyone of the contrary sex.

Y'all also became and then clingy to the point where any time I would go into a room you would accept to follow me in at that place. You know how your shadow follows you around everywhere? Well, you lot essentially became my new shadow.

The reason = "I couldn't carry to be away from you lot even in a dissimilar room."

Ah, and now we become to the texting.

You see, at the beginning of our human relationship we had a nice ane:1 text ratio going. This ways that we were completely even when texting each other.

• Y'all text
• I text
• You lot text
• I text

Of form, every bit our relationship grew deeper the texting ratio inverse completely to a 3:1 ratio. This means that for every 1 text I would transport you would send three in return. On meridian of that you lot would literally become angry if I wouldn't respond immediately to your texts.

Do you see the departure between positive neediness as opposed to negative neediness?

Speaking of negative neediness lets talk a expect at some of those qualities.

The Negatives Of Being Clingy

Yous have an incredible advantage over almost every other woman searching the cyberspace.

You run across, when nearly women search the net for advice on clingy behavior about experts list out all the needy behaviors that you need to avoid simply most none of them do a good job of explaining WHY you demand to avoid them. It is rare to discover someone who will explain why men react badly to clingy beliefs merely I am going to because I am a human and I know how I would react if someone got overly needy.

I suppose nosotros can start with a common clingy behavior, text gnatting.

Clingy Behavior 1- Text Gnat

A lot of you are already familiar with the term I coined called a "text gnat."

If you aren't familiar with it then allow me to have a moment to educate y'all on information technology.

Imagine for a moment that you are walking downward the street and all suddenly you hear this buzzing around your head. You wait around and discover that a bunch of gnats are post-obit yous effectually. No affair how many times y'all swat at them they still stay put. No thing how fast you lot run they however seem to follow. It'south like no matter what you practice you lot tin't seem to milk shake these annoying bugs.

It is entirely possible that this is how your ex beau viewed you in your human relationship if you were too overbearing with how you texted him.

Above I mentioned how an ideal texting ratio betwixt a couple should be 1:1.

Meaning their text letters should look something like this,

Observe how this string of text messages follows the classic 1:1 text ratio meaning,

• 1 person texts
• The other person responds
• One person texts
• The other person responds

One of the best ways to determine if you lot were a text gnat or non is to look at your last 100 text messages betwixt you and your ex.

If the ratio is close to 50:fifty (it can be a little off here or there but has to be shut) then that means that you are doing well to stand up by that i:1 ratio.

If for example, the texting ratio ends upwards being something like seventy:30 where you lot have sent him seventy text messages and he has only responded to 30 of those text messages then that probably means y'all are venturing into text gnat territory where you are becoming kind of overbearing.

Why Being A Text Gnat Annoys Men

I discussion,

Agony

Someone who is a text gnat screams desperation and no guy wants a serious relationship with a woman who is desperate. They want a serious relationship with a adult female who is confident enough to know that she actively chose to be with a guy.

Have I always been text gnatted earlier?

Absolutely.

In fact, I remember a long time ago there was one girl who had such a shell on me that she would text gnat the heck out of me. Now, I don't really like hurting anyone's feelings and so I didn't have the guts to tell her that I didn't similar her "in that way." So, when she would text me I just wouldn't reply hoping she would get the hint.

She didn't…

She kept texting me to the point where it really started annoying me and I eventually had to say something to her.

Why was her gnatting such a plough off to me?

Because she seemed totally drastic and if I am going to be attracted to anyone it was going to exist a adult female who is smart, contained and Non drastic.

Clingy Beliefs ii- Extreme Jealousy

I personally believe that a petty jealousy is good in every human relationship.

Why?

Because it shows how much you care about each other. Of course, jealousy can become very dangerous if it starts to develop on an farthermost level.

What do I mean past "extreme level?"

I suppose a part playing example would be all-time to illustrate this.

Lets say that yous and I are currently in the middle of a relationship. As our human relationship wears on I begin to detect that y'all become jealous whatever time I mention another girl.

"Hey, my friend Tina texted me today and told me that she is hosting a party and she wanted us to come."

Now, a normal girlfriend should be excited almost the prospect of going to a party with her boyfriend.

You, nonetheless, aren't a normal girlfriend. No, you are the insecure controlling type (not really hopefully.)

Instead of existence excited about the party you get angry at me for texting another girl and accuse me of cheating.

"Who is this Tina? How did you see her? When was the final time yous saw her? Are you cheating on me?"

"Tina is an old friend (a married mother of two.) I met her through work. I oasis't seen her in years and no, I am non cheating on you."

My answers aren't good enough for yous though.

Yous become so threatened by Tina that you lot prevent me to ever text some other girl for the residual of my life. In fact, if you always catch me texting another daughter throughout our human relationship you threaten to pause up with me.

Wow…

You lot are psycho.

Why Extreme Jealousy Annoys Men

In my opinion, extreme jealousy has a straight correlation to a woman trying to control a man and nothing annoys a man more than a woman who tries to control him.

Look, we chose to exist in a relationship with y'all. Nosotros chose to become exclusive with yous. However, that doesn't give you the right to endeavour to control us. If you show us a little trust it can go a long way.

Nothing says,

"I don't trust you"

like farthermost jealousy/controlling does.

Clingy Behavior 3- Shadowing

I have only heard of i example of shadowing in my personal life but I have heard of multiple examples through this site which is why I know information technology exists.

So, what is shadowing?

Shadowing- Becoming so dependent on some other homo that you accept to exist around them all the time. In some cases it is and so extreme that you lot tin't even allow them leave a room without yous going past their side. Information technology is an extreme form of being controlling.

If you are nevertheless a piffling confused when it comes to this concept don't feel bad, it is a little complicated to grasp.

Maybe it would be best if I used the instance from my personal life to illustrate.

When I was in loftier school a very long time ago I knew a guy that would go angry at his girlfriend for the dumbest things. I remember he once told me that when he was over at her house she left the room without him.

When I heard this I was baffled at why he would have to accompany her if she merely wanted to leave the room.

Me: "Was she leaving yous alone in her firm permanently or something?"

Him: "No, she just wanted to become a drink in the other room."

Me: "Are you kidding me?"

Him: "She should take asked my permission to leave the room."

Me: "Why? Information technology's her house not yours?"

Him: "She is my girlfriend. It's disrespectful."

What we accept here is a instance of someone who is and so insecure that he wouldn't even let his girlfriend leave the room without him. Look, I get being and then in love with someone that you detest it when you are apart. However, if you take become so clingy or controlling that you literally have to become with them from room to room so that is a large issue.

Of class, that example was an extreme form of shadowing.

Some of the more common forms of shadowing I have seen is the classic invasion of alone fourth dimension.

Look, sometimes men demand their alone time where you aren't constantly badgering them with questions or the latest drama that went on at work. Nosotros need time to recharge sometimes before we tin can consume everything you want us to swallow.

Oh, and when a guy tells you that he wants to hang out with his friends don't get aroused if he doesn't invite you. If you feel the need to accompany him everywhere he goes then that is a course of shadowing and he isn't going to capeesh it.

Why Shadowing Annoys Men

Do you know what the definition of a stalker is?

Stalker- a person who harasses someone with unwanted and obsessive attention

Every time you "adumbral" your beau in your relationship you lot were technically a stalker.

Recollect about it, if your ex wanted to have a guys night out with his friends but you lot insisted on tagging along you were harassing him with unwanted attention which is technically the same behavior a stalker engages in.

If you were and then insecure that you couldn't even allow him have an hour on his ain to recharge his batteries then you lot are technically defined as a talker.

In other words,

Shadowing = Stalking

Oh, and the terminal fourth dimension I checked no ane likes stalkers.

Clingy Behavior 4- Controlling

I bargain with a lot of failed relationships every day.

That means that every solar day whenever I read your comments on this site I can kind of get bummed out because, to me, information technology sometimes feels as if all I see are failed relationships. Lately, in an effort to change this I have been reading up a lot nigh the nigh successful relationships so I can get some positivity back in my life which in turn will help me give out better advice.

You want to know what I am learning about successful relationships?

Neither person involved in the relationship tries to command the other person. Rather they work together as a team to talk over their bug.

It baffles me to this day why some women feel the need to control their boyfriends.

Look, I want you lot to become something through your caput.

You cannot command another human being. It is impossible.

The just fashion that yous could always attempt to control another homo is if you had developed some type of superpower like "mind control" but since no i in the history of the earth has ever adult a power like that I am afraid y'all are out of luck.

Why Decision-making Beliefs Annoys Men

I think it's best if I use myself every bit an case here.

The thing near me is that I am the near loyal human yous will ever meet. Whenever I am in a human relationship with someone I don't let anyone threaten that relationship.

For example, if yous and I were dating and ane of your friends texted that she wanted to hang out with me (when yous weren't effectually) I would respond similar this,

In other words, I am basically saying that the only fourth dimension I would hang effectually other girls is if my girlfriend (you in this imaginary example) was there. I feel this is an extremely rare quality in men at present-a-days and it as well says a lot almost my grapheme.

So, lets pretend that you are actually insecure near other girls around me, even though I take proven to you multiple times that I am the well-nigh trustworthy human on the planet.

In fact, you accept get so insecure about other women that you constantly try to control me and basically order me to never talk to any of them ever again.

This is going to annoy me on a lot of dissimilar levels because not just are you lot essentially saying that you don't trust me but I as well experience I accept been completely loyal to you and y'all don't appreciate that at all. Not to mention you are trying to control me and no man likes existence controlled.

In fact, most of the time by you controlling a human you lot button him to practice the behavior you lot don't want him to in the first place.

How Do You Save Face With Your Ex If You Were Clingy?

Now that you have a pretty adept idea of what clingy behavior is and why it annoys men lets take a look at what you are going to have to do in order to overcome that clingy behavior to accept a run a risk at getting your ex boyfriend dorsum.

Many of you are enlightened that I am a fan of putting graphics together for this site. Well, below y'all will find a graphic that i put together that volition teach y'all how to overcome his reservations about taking you lot dorsum because of your clingy nature.

As you tin can see I have divided the procedure upwardly into four separate parts,

1. Understanding how you are perceived.
2. Giving him time.
3. Reclaiming your identity.
4. The new you.

Now, earlier I get started on explaining what I mean by these four pillars I feel it is very important to discuss the bespeak of what nosotros are trying to accomplish here.

I matter we already know is that y'all want your ex boyfriend back. However, it doesn't expect like that is going to happen since yous were style as well clingy. Well, in order to have a hazard at winning him back you are first going to have to overcome his impression of y'all (he thinks you are clingy.)

The bespeak of this section is to prove yous what you have to do in lodge to achieve that goal.

Oh, and don't worry, once I show you how you can do that I will guide through every step of the actual "getting him dorsum" procedure.

For now, lets get neat on these four pillars.

Colonnade 1- Agreement How You Are Perceived

If the main goal that we are trying to achieve here is overcoming your exes impression of you then it is probably a actually skilful thought to figure out what that impression is.

For example, if y'all and I dated each other and I was constantly telling you how I hated the fact that you were always trying to control me and so you would know that the clingy behavior that you would really have to work on is to NOT be controlling.

In other words, what we are trying to practise hither is to figure out what behaviors you exhibited that needs to change for you to even take a shot of getting him back.

How are you supposed to figure this out?

Well, a little empathy tin can certainly help but there is really a better manner.

I want you to call up back to your fights and arguments with your ex. You see, if there is i affair I have learned over the years it'south that acrimony has a way of extracting the thoughts you accept that you know you shouldn't actually say. And so, when you think back to you lot and your exes fights what was it nigh y'all that he was complaining nigh that could be classified every bit clingy.

(Disclaimer- We are but looking for clingy behavior hither. Annihilation ridiculous that he complained nigh that isn't clingy you shouldn't change.)

Using a personal example from my own life I tin retrieve of i off the elevation of my caput.

While I never really was in a relationship with this person (I never even went a date with her actually) she exhibited some super clingy behavior from the get get that made me immediately want to not talk to her.

What was her clingy behavior?

Any time I wouldn't respond to a text message she would send she would grow frustrated and berate me with insults. Look, sometimes I don't respond to my text letters right away (sometimes I don't at all if I don't similar the person.) However, ordinarily I always become around to it. If this girl was more patient we probably wouldn't have had a problem. Merely she wasn't…

I immediately classified her behavior equally clingy and controlling and I did non want a presence like that in my life.

Practice you have an thought of what clingy behaviors you have exhibited in the past with your ex?

If you lot don't so you demand to discover out immediately.

Pillar ii- Giving Him Time

Most women fall into the clingy trap after a breakup occurs with their young man.

What is this trap?

They phone call, text or skype their ex so much that it tin can sometimes go across regular clingyness.

If you need a refresher on how creepy this can exist take a look at the very first film I posted on this page of the adult female who called her ex 77,000 times later on her breakup with him.

A yr or two ago ane of my friends told me something actually interesting about relationships.

In near relationships men put the near effort into making the relationship happen. Withal, once the relationship has already commenced and so the women take over from there and practice everything in their power to proceed the relationship going.

While I am sure there are exceptions to this rule I have establish information technology oddly accurate.

Y'all see, men can sometimes take this nasty habit of getting comfortable in a relationship. In other words, they abound lazy and spoiled and become used to women doing everything for them. Equally a effect, when a breakup occurs they almost expect that YOU are going to be the i that contacts them first begging for a second adventure.

By being clingy and needy with telephone calls or texts you are playing right into what they already believe is going to happen.

If I am beingness completely honest with you it annoys me when I see women begging for their exes dorsum considering to me that means they don't know their ain value.

Men aren't attracted to neediness, they are attracted to women who know their value, women who know they can supervene upon him in a heartbeat (kind of like that Beyonce vocal irreplaceable.)

And then, rather than playing right into what he already believes is going to happen later on a breakup (you getting all clingy with phone calls) I would recommend that you do the exact opposite of that. You should exercise what a strong woman would practice, not contact him at all.

Many of you are enlightened of my thoughts on the no contact dominion. Well, I am of the mind that giving your ex space (after y'all have been clingy) is the smartest matter you lot tin do.

Why?

Men have this abiding need to feel admired by women. Of grade, when you shower a man with constant attending that attention is going to lose some of its value over time because he is going to go used to information technology.

By doing a no contact rule for either 21 or 30 days (depending on the situation) you lot are going to accomplish ii things.

Thing 1- Giving Him Time To Cool Downwardly

Here's a fun question.

Who do you think has a improve risk at getting her ex back,

A girl who tries to get her ex swain dorsum when he is extremely upset with her?

or

A girl who tries to get her ex boyfriend dorsum when he is not that angry at her?

If yous guessed the girl who tries to get her boyfriend back when he is not that aroused then you lot guessed correct. The no contact rule is perfect for giving your ex boyfriend fourth dimension to cool downwardly which in turn is going to increase your chances to seem less clingy and also become him back.

Affair ii- Gives YOU Fourth dimension To Reshape Your Image

I am going to be talking most this a lot more in-depth in the next section but for at present I can give y'all a little teaser of whats to come.

While you are using the no contact dominion to requite your ex time to cool down you tin also exist using information technology equally a way to get rid of your clingy habits and reshape your image so that your ex no longer views yous every bit clingy.

In other words, yous tin can utilise it for self improvement.

Pillar 3- The New You

Self improvement is key if you don't want to exist looked at as clingy or needy anymore.

It'south funny, I was scrolling through Facebook the other 24-hour interval and noticed 1 of those overused motivational quotes that always seem to go shared.

Information technology said something similar,

Your amazing just the way you are…

On the surface it'south a really nice sentiment isn't it?

However, when you sit down and really peel dorsum the layers you lot will find that, that quote has a flaw.

It is essentially saying that it's ok to exist the way you are and you don't accept to change or improve for anyone.

Well, I take offense to that because I personally believe that self comeback should be something every human being being should strive for. I hateful, what is wrong with wanting to become a better version of yourself?

Now, I am not saying yous should compromise your morals or do something your not comfortable with simply I think it is completely ok to want to be a better version of yourself.

Since this is a page dedicated to eliminating neediness lets focus on how you can improve yourself if your neediness is tied directly to your own insecurities.

Dealing With Your Insecurities

A lot of clingy behaviors can be traced directly back to our own insecurities.

For instance, we ofttimes get overly jealous because nosotros are agape our significant other might cheat on us. How about the fact that a lot of women don't believe they are good enough for their boyfriends then they shower them with likewise much attention which can be viewed as clingy.

Getting rid of these types of insecurities can exist quite catchy.

I mean, y'all can try to turn your feelings off as much equally possible but in the end we are all homo beings and not robots. We can't help simply feel jealousy and insignificance from time to time.

So, what I would like to teach yous is the method I try to employ when dealing with my own personal insecurities.

(Yes, yous will get to hear my own insecurities about relationships right here, right now.)

I would have to say that without a doubt the biggest insecurity I have when it comes to relationships would be the fear of being cheated on.

How did this insecurity develop?

When I was in High School I remember the kickoff girl I asked out very clearly. You run into, I liked her and she liked me, or and so I idea.

Turns out she liked someone else and was simply using me for fun. So, the twenty-four hours I asked her out she explained to me that she didn't like me in "that way." I'll acknowledge I was a little bummed out simply I took it in stride and didn't cause any unnecessary drama.

The very next twenty-four hours I found out that she started dating another guy, someone who she had been pursuing since I started pursuing her.

While she didn't cheat on me it was my start experience with deception and I did not like how it felt.

As I gained more experience in dealing with the reverse sex I learned more and more about how women could sometimes use deception to get away with things. In fact, I became and so frightened of beingness deceived that I started plotting out worse example scenarios in my head and trying to figure out if I would exist able to survive if it ever occurred to me.

Past far the worst charade I could think of was infidelity and it scared me.

Unfortunately, this site doesn't help that insecurity at all when I come face to confront with adultery on a daily basis. Y'all see, it has the ability to make you a little paranoid and that can be extremely unhealthy.

All the same, I figured out an excellent way to deal with this insecurity then it doesn't make me exhibit clingy behavior.

Y'all run into, the fear of infidelity tin sometimes cause you to get jealous over unnecessary things. This means that for me I can sometimes get touchy when other men are introduced into the equation around my human relationship. And so, rather than getting overly jealous I am always telling myself that I am setting such a high standard that no other human being can compare.

Whats fifty-fifty improve is that I am using my insecurity to forcefulness me to set that type of high standard.

You meet, equally long as I keep that standard so far out of reach for other men I have aught to worry about because my significant other would literally have to be an idiot to devious.

In other words, I find a way to use my insecurities as a forcefulness.

Pillar 4- Reclaiming Your Identity

I am about to brand you aware of the ultimate form of neediness.

Some women become so enthralled with their human relationship that they lose themselves in information technology.

For example, lets say that before y'all met your ex boyfriend you had a long list of hobbies,

• Running
• Watching movies
• Painting
• Swimming

However, as you fell deeper into the relationship you slowly but surely started losing your hobbies. Whats worse is you adopted all of your exes hobbies.

Now, there are two trains of thoughts when information technology comes to stuff similar this.

Idea i- It'south sugariness that you tin can fall so deeply in love with someone that their passions become yours.

Idea two- Information technology'due south dangerous to autumn so deeply in honey that you lot lose yourself in that person.

I personally believe that information technology's ok to prefer your significant others hobbies as long as you don't lose yourself in the procedure. It'due south non ok to just stop something that you lot love (your hobbies) to make room for all of your boyfriends or husbands hobbies.

Remember, your ex boyfriend brutal in dearest with you lot, the girl with her own hobbies.

He didn't autumn for the girl that stole his…

fairleyhicithove1960.blogspot.com

Source: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/stage-5-clinger-getting-a-boyfriend-back-if-you-were-too-clingy/

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